a place to call my own.

There are no words to accurately describe this feeling...


waking up in this room.
this same room that's belonged to me for seventeen long years.

thinking back.. it's really changed a lot over time.

it's gone from...
those pink frilly curtains with the circus bears,
the single bed with a slide out bottom that i smothered with my sticker selection,
that big ugly desk in the corner which now sits in darian's room,
some random tiny wooden picnic table that i drew all over,
a little tv i'd watch my saturday morning cartoons on,
that fischer-price salon set-up,
the mickey mouse bed side lamp

to now....

the ikea double bed,

boring dark green shades,

the frosted glass L-shaped desk which has got way too much crap on it,

my favourite glass white board on the wall,

and many many pictures.

Sounds like it got a little boring huh.

Oh well, I still love it more than any other place in the world.

I feel like i belong to a lot of different places now...

spread a little too thin.

Like i'm constantly hopping between all these different cities.

buuttt, my attachment will always be here.

this little square room.

hypocracy

SHIT i am actually so frikken passive aggressive it pisses me off.
stop i need to stop.

i want hotpot.

binary

Everything happens for a reason. 

People change so that you can learn to let go, 

things go wrong so that you can appreciate them when they are right,

you believe less so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,

and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

= ) 

xmas lights & reminiscence

there are a lot of memories that have become very hazy to me

sometimes I forget that they're real.

once in a while though, the random song selection in my iTunes

will draw me back into specific moments I've long forgotten

and I'm reminded of these things again.

the nostalgia makes my heart smile but sting at the same time.

dim your lights and have a listen:

it's so beautiful it hurts my soul.

i
do
not
like
schemers.

Christmas Season Kick-off

Every year I watch a christmas movie to officially get into that christmassy mood. This year's movie was: Family Stone. I've watched this movie before, but it definitely wasn't as good when i watched it during spring time back in gr12. .

The mall was all decorated today, and all the shops were playing christmas music. it made me so warm and happy =) All we need now is a little bit of snow. and i stress a little bit because it'd be nice if this year isn't a full on ice-age like last winter.

I am

Listening to baby it's cold outside.

Laying very comfortably in bed under some pretty xmas lights.

Missing the decorated malls in vancouver, my fireplace, parents, home.

And thinking about what an interesting christmas it'll be this year.................

Taking my 5 minute break from BCG Case Competition.

one case down

going into second round judging in 30 minutes

one more case to tackle tomorrow

rah rah rah

hehe

A Little Stroll Down Memory Lane : )

I found a new toy!

I've spent a good hour playing around with some of my favourite pictures.

However, ZERO productivity in terms of getting school work done. grahhh.

Today, I am missing...

Hong Kong Central, Des Voeux Road/LKF at around 7pm.

對號入座

你係咪唸多口左呢？

咪乜都口拿屎上身啦。

Don't pretend like you know me.

There are only two people in this entire world who really do.

News flash: You're not one of them.

Exit, Block, Delete.

I've burned way too many bridges in the past while.

Good thing? Bad thing?

Couldn't tell ya.

Some things are better lost and found

unless you never find them again.

Girls Night.

Belly full of home made pasta, watching Finding Nemo, eating cheese cake and feelin' a bit tipsy from dessert wine. I love life.

What are you hopin' for?

Ask yourself honestly if the hidden reasons behind all the things that you do are really just means to get back at something you claim to not matter to your life anymore. Dig hard, dig deep, at the core of it all, maybe you'll find that your life still continues to revolve around that same pivot point. Nothing's actually changed except for how much you've managed to convince yourself otherwise.

Time Travel

There are songs that make us want to dance,

Songs that make us want to sing along,

But the best songs are the ones that bring us back

to the moment that we first heard them

... and once again, break our hearts.

接受現實

People don't like change. Thats why we always find a way to fabricate reasons and excuses to justify the things that we simply cannot accept or do not want to believe in. However, we have to remember that nothing lasts forever - not situations, not people, not feelings.

The things that we are surrounded by, ourselves included, are constantly going under transmutations. No matter how much we try to hold on to the past, the way things use to be, it doesn't alter the fact that things may no longer be the same anymore. Sometimes, its just healthier to let go and move forward. There are bigger and better things around the corner and we'll never find out what they are if we're too busy confining ourselves to our preferred versions of reality.

Save all the nostalgia and sentimentality for memory.

Except I'd argue that fading memories could sometimes be a really good thing. I am a sucker for holding onto the past; I use to be terrified of forgetting. Forgetting all those good times, those little insignificant details that, at one point in time, use to make my world. But slowly I've begun to realize that it is a dreadful and heartbreaking thing to be able to keep reminding myself -- 'Congratulations. Once upon a time, you use to be happier, things use to be better.' Rubbing, grinding salt on a wound much? So aren't we just better off having these memories blot out entirely? At least then, happy would just simply equate to happy, not "happy but..."

Hold onto whatever you wish to, but if it's eating you up and preventing the wounds from healing, you gotta toss that shit out. Love yourself better than that.

除了你給的傘
我再也沒有
別的藉口
去擁有你的什麼

Gone are the days of Twilight and Harry Potter.

When ever will be the next time that I'll get a chance to sit down with a novel? I totally took those nights where I would stay up for 4 hours submerged in a completely different world than my own for granted. Guh I miss reading :(

This is not a love story,

it's a story about love.



"It's these greeting cards. These cards, these movies, these pop songs. They're responsible for all the lies, the heartache. Maybe it's not love at all. Maybe there's no such thing as love. Destiny, soulmates, true love. All that stuff. It's nothing more than silly childhood fairytale nonsense, isn't it?"

You know what my problem is?

I'm afraid of being the bad guy.


the beauty of it all is
i can never seem to learn from my mistakes
and i find myself stuck in this same situation

over
and
over
and
over.

Keep on dreaming Abigail

GHAD

will you marry me?????

or i'll just settle with

you singing to me every night.

i honestly don't think i've

ever loved a person's voice more than his.

sosososososososo perfect.

Never challenge my patience.

i can change my mind on the way i feel about something
a lot faster than you know.

I take it back...

here we go,
the choking feeling.

just knowing that the next time i'll be waking up
in this bed,
in this room,
it'll already be winter.
I skip a whole season.

i hate goodbyes.
i hate last-times.

i hate saying goodbye knowing it's for the last time.

Settling.

what seems like the easy way out right now
is only going to bring so much more trouble and drama for later on.

i know it.

i have to just tough this out.

i will not settle.


.................................

and when it comes to relationships and all that stuff,
i've found that
i like the feeling of being a little bit insecure.

is that weird??

bla bla bla

i love falling asleep to the sound of rain splattering on rooftops.

New Perspectives

it was randomly sprinkling rain today and i usually really really hate rainy weather cause it's just annoying. but for some reason it felt very different today. it felt sort of like a collage of fall/winter memories from the seventeen, nostalgic years that i've shared with this place. i think i might actually like rain. well, rain in vancouver. rain anywhere else still sucks.